Every question we ask about
our roots we are told it's
not our business.

When we ask about birth parents
we are told forget it and quit
asking for it's none of our business.
It's personal and private information
and doesn't concern us.
I have to laugh when I hear it doesn't
concern us.

Personally I feel you made it our business
the day or night you decided to
have unprotected sex and damn the consequences.
You made it our business when that seed was
planted and nine months later we were born.

Do you know how tiresome it gets hearing people
tell you how lucky and blessed you were
because someone cared enough to adopt you?
Of course these are the people that have been
with their birth parents from the beginning.

We are the throw away children that people
try to forget a mistake they had made
nine months ago.
We are the ones that pay for that mistake
and we pay dearly in many cases.
We are adopted by child abusers.
Beaten, raped and in many cases murdered.

When we start searching for answers we
run up against brick walls.
Dead ends caused by sealed records in some
states.......like mine for instance.
We are ridiculed for trying to find where
we came from and who we were.

We have no last name of our own just the borrowed
name of those that adopts us.
This is how I feel anyway.
I know I can't speak for all adoptees.
Some have wonderful and loving families.
Many of us didn't.

We are made fun of in school because we don't
know who our real mom and dad are.
We are called names and shunned like we have
a disease.
People don't like to get too close to us for
being adopted might rub off on them.
We seek out a dark corner to hide in when
we are hurt.
We withdraw into ourselves where we know
we can't be hurt.

We lack self esteem and always yearn to
be loved...truly loved not used and tossed
away like yesterdays garbage.
We tend to give our hearts and love so completely
and we tend to trust way too much in the wrong
people.

Broken hearts, crushed souls, and broken promises
follow us through life like a bad dream.

As I said I don't pretend to speak for all adoptees
only for myself.
I speak from my heart and from the knowledge
of how my life was.
Am I feeling sorry for myself.....way too late for
that.

Maybe someone will read this and be able to
relate to it.

One thing I know for sure is life isn't easy
whether you are adopted or not.

Next time you decide to have unprotected sex
and you aren't ready to have a baby
think long and hard before you let that
moment in time sweep you away.

"Remember giving birth to us gave us the right

to know about US."

"Before I go let me say one more thing.

It seems being adopted gives people the right

to remind us of it almost everyday of our life.

It's like they are afraid you might forget we

didn't belong to anyone from the start."

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© 2006 Written By Sandra Gard